do everything I can to smuggle my mom into my suitcase at the airport
Immediately after going through security, go straight to the bar at my departure gate and have a special pre-flight cocktail I like to refer to as "The Knockout". The drink consists of tequila, ice, triple sec, and 2 Tylenol PMs crushed in with the fervor of a teenage date rapist. (too far? Perhaps.)
I will only have one drink though. I want to arrive in London looking "impossibly fresh" a la Carrie Bradshaw.
(Really though, I'll just arrive at Heathrow at 6:50am tomorrow "incredibly cranky")
try really hard not to kick the back of the seat in front of me. Sometimes I just can't resist.
and I will try not to curse out the flight attendant when she bangs my knee with the stupid drink cart for the 57th time on an 8 hour flight.
Be glad you are on that side of the computer screen, folks. Something about flying turns me into a grade-A, top of the line, D-I-V-A.
I'll see you from across the pond! (back when I am my normal, cheery, spastic self) Cheers mate!
