Monday, November 8

Yoga by the Fireplace (alternative title: Seriously, I need friends)

Okay let's talk Barcelona Marathon, folks. We have officially entered the training zone. I'm on week 2 of 18 in my running plan and bread roll 47 in my carbo-loading plan. It's never too early to start storing those least that's what I told myself when I had 4 snicker doodle cookies for breakfast this morning. oops.

For the running inclined out there, I am using my homeboy Hal Higdon's Intermediate Training Plan as my guideline. Every week, my plan consists of 4 regular runs, 1 long run, a rest day and cross training. I've seen some more complicated plans out there that incorporate speedwork like tempo runs and fartleks (the 13 year old boy inside of me thinks that's such a funny word. fartlek. heh heh heh). I'm not concentrating on my speed for the Marathon though, my main concentration for Barcelona is to not to die on the side of the road. If that happens, I hope some kind citizen will pull me to the sidelines and start mainlining tequila down my throat. Go big or go home right?

I had a bit too much fun creating my training plan on Google Calendar. In fact, I was so smugly enjoying my pink labeling system that it wasn't until entering Week 15 that I realized I had mis-numbered them and had to start all over again. The sickest part? I wasn't even upset about it. I was pumped and just started all over again. (why yes, I amin fact a huge nerd. Thank you so much for asking). I'm sure my schedule will change over the next few months, but I did my best to work in the holidays and the hangovers where necessary. If you're interested, you can download my plan here and try it out for yourself. (You know, just in case you're bored one Saturday and feel like taking a 15 mile run for fun)

Besides running ridiculously long distances on a weekly basis, ole Hal strongly recommends some form of cross training. (Because heaven forbid Sundays be used the way God intended: nursing your hangover and making it a personal goal not to change out of your pajamas before 4pm) I've decided to pick up Bikram Yoga again...90 minutes of forcing my body into positions it was never meant to bend in all while being subjected to 98ยบ heat and the guy in front of me who keeps grunting and forgot to put spandex on under his shorts. (Downward facing dog will Apparently I was a masochist in my past life. Being the glutton for punishment that I am, I will be doing yoga twice a week during my training. By the end of these 18 weeks, not only will I run a marathon, but hopefully I will finally be able touch my toes. and make it through the "ommmmmmm" prayer at the beginning of class without wanting to burst out in laughter. (seriously lady, you're from Chicago. your yoga pants were $75 from Lululemon. Stop with the Ghandi)

This is where Yoga by the Fireplace comes in.

I am planning on packaging photos of all my yoga moves into a series and giving them out as stocking stuffers this Christmas. This beauty will be on the cover of the album. I will also be changing the names of many of the most popular stances. Like instead of Savasana, why can't we just call it like it is? Pass out on the floor for 5 minutes because you're out of shape

Shit! I'm going to fall into the drying rack

Instead of Garurasana
I'm calling this one: okay, I got myself into this twisty how do I get out? Seannnnn? HELP!

Hidden Tiger, Crouching Girl who needs to stop playing with Photobooth and make friends

Pretty amazing stuff, right? Would you believe this isn't my first venture in yoga photography? There is one pose I really like doing. In fact, I like to spontaneously break out in this pose whenever possible...say after a night of drinking at some random kid's house in Boston. Suuuuuure why not.

A few things you can learn from my yoga poses:
1. The best way to achieve this position is to act like you actually are Superman. Drinking about 10 beers before helps a lot with the superhero complex
2. It isn't official unless you are making a completely ridiculous face like the ones seen above
3. Don't refer to it as its real name: Dandayamana Dhanurasana (Although, who could actually pronounce its real name, especially after all those beers?!). I like to call this my Christmas pose, because I get so excited whenever I do it that I'm like a kid on Christmas morning. Just look at that face, sheer joy.

So there you have it. I'm training for my first marathon and starting a lucrative career as a yoga model. Be nice boys and girls and maybe you'll get your very own limited edition Marie posing like an idiot poster under your Christmas tree this year! and just in case you are feeling ripe with envy over my yoga abilities after this post, I want to also share another talent of mine I have. I like to call this one: Girl runs in hat, sweats like a beast, and creates a Snooki poof without even trying.

Be jealous. Be very very jealous.


Preppy in Polka Dots said...

Haha yes, this post is cause for concern. I may have stopped twice to look up flights to come see you.

Genesis said...

youre pretty funny!

ill be your first customer when you come out with that yoga photobook. i rpefer your names over the real yoga names, because seriously, who erally remembers them?

Anne Taite said...

I have neglected my yoga since moving to London, but I'm doing lots of tree balancing poses now with my one good leg. :)

Kat said...

I'm looking forward to seeing how Higdon's program goes for you, because I'm trying to decide which one I'll use for next year's race. When I was training for my half, I really couldn't deal with the details of speedwork and such. I'd much rather run and just do the darned thing.

Alina @ Duty Free Foodie said...

My hair looks much messier than that when I come back from a run ... it's usually sticking out in all directions.

I can never remember all the real names for poses ... they sound too similar to me.

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