Attack of the Bridezilla

This is what happens you start googling bridal bouquets while you should be making your lunch.

Goodbye, fresh kale bursting with potential to be delicious chips.

Hello, burnt to a crisp kale bursting into flames in my oven.

Oops.

On the plus side, I did manage to find some scha-weeeeet floral arrangements...I'm sorry you had to be the sacrificial lamb, Kale.

Now if it were up to me, my entire wedding would be a vision of Pretty Pretty Princess. However, since I live in the real world and not Barbie's dream house, I am getting my pink fix through the flowers. Here's what I'm loving so far: (all images courtesy of The Knot)

#1

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#5

What do you think? Do you have any preference? Or is this one of those things only my mom and the florist I'm paying way too much money for actually care about?

The Best Reader Request EVER

Last night, I received the following comment from a reader named Lauren:

Hi, kinda random comment... but would you mind doing a post about how you're planning a wedding from across the ocean? I'm planning a wedding less then a hour from where I live and I think it's hard; how are you handling it!?

Ummmm...are you asking if I want to talk about my wedding plans? Does a bear shit in the woods? Heck yes I would.

I've been avoiding discussing my wedding woes on here for fear of alienating my audience. But if a reader requests it, well goshdarnit, I guess I better do it. (For all the naysayers: Would I jump off a bridge if someone told me to? Yep! Yes indeed I would if the bridge allowed me to brag about my wedding plans first. Thankyouverymuch)


When it comes to planning from abroad, I think your degree of success (and sanity) comes from your personality. Are you decisive? Do you stress out easily? Is Google your BFF?

I'm incredibly decisive - I never second guess myself and I know what I want when I want how I want (*cough* qualities of a bridezilla to be? *cough*) - so decision making thus far has been easy for me, especially these days. In today's technologically advanced society, you can pretty much find anything online. I'm Facebook friends with our photographer and have tweeted my reception venue. I also made sure to set up a wedding website and a Facebook group that I keep up to date with hotel deals, flight rates, and other important info for my potential guests!

My steps for wedding planning from abroad success are simple:

1. Stalk my prey via the internet
2. Decide what I like
3. Ask Sean if he likes it
4. Convince Sean he likes it
5. Call/email the necessary person to set it up
6. Obsessively stare at whatever it is website

I think the other key element to your level of stress is time management. We did a lot of things in the first few months and have since hit a lull which I'm thoroughly enjoying! Come spring, I know it'll be time to pick up the craziness again!

Before doing ANYTHING, sit down with your fiance and whoever is paying for the wedding and talk about what everyone envisions for the day. Keep that vision in mind as you go through the process...and when it gets too hectic remember: The entire building could set on fire, your hair could turn out horribly, the food could taste like crap, but at the end of the day you'll be married to the person you love and that's all that really matters. (Well that, and an open bar. Priorities people. Priorities.)

Here's what I've done so far (accompanied with my completely unprofessional, unsolicited advice)

Budget

By far the #1 thing to figure out first. Champagne taste on a beer budget only leads to disappointment. What things are important to you? Sean and I each picked a couple key things we labeled as our "big ticket items". For him? Food and alcohol. For me? Chiavari chairs.

Worth. Every. Extra. Penny.

Destination for Ceremony and Reception
This should definitely be the other first thing you decide. It sets the tone for the entire wedding, not to mention places can fill up insanely fast...like 2 years in advance?!?! Some brides are just straight up crazy, yo.


We're getting married on Hilton Head Island, SC. We chose HHI because we wanted a laid-back beach vibe without it being too far away for our guests convenience. This seemed like the perfect solution.


We picked the place without actually visiting it, but only because my family has vacationed in Hilton Head for many years and my parents lived in Savannah so we were familiar with the resort and the territory surrounding it. Sean had some hesitation because he's never been there, but he trusted my instincts on this one (Reason #3948039842 why he rocks).

Save The Dates
This was one of the things I really needed to get done before we left for London. So despite the fact the wedding was still a YEAR away, I sent out the Save the Dates (which, by the way, are usually known as STDs. Couldn't we create a better acronym?) after Labor Day this past year. (Also, because it is a destination wedding, we wanted to give people more notice so they could hopefully save money and find the best deals on flights and hotels!)



I created these postcards on Zazzle.com and was going to mail them as is, but quickly realized they were too small to have postage stamps and address labels put onto them.


Instead, I ordered Tiffany blue envelopes and my dad and I spent several hours hand feeding them through our printer at home to put pretty addresses on them. (Ohhh the things a dad will do for his only daughter)



My advice? Don't spend a ridiculous amount of time or money on things like this...especially the envelope and address labels. I even made a special trip to the post office to buy stamps with wedding rings on them. In retrospect, I feel silly because people just threw the envelopes away.

Photographer
One of the best things to do when you first start planning is to figure out what aspects of the wedding are the most important to you and your fiance. Sean and I both ranked photography as one of our top budget busters. We jumped into the search for the right photographer immediately after securing the venue. Luckily, we instantly fell in love with Michael Moss.


I could gush about his work all day. Fran-freaking-tastic. We are SO excited!


Photography is one of those things I am confident you can choose over the internet. Any good photographer will have a strong online portfolio or blog for you to browse through. I think the most important thing if finding someone who matches your style (and budget of course!)

Dress!!!!
First off, you are straight up CRAZY if you think I'm showing you a photo of my dress on here. Not gonna happen. Not even a little sliver of the bottom train. Nada.

I can tell you it does NOT look like this:


I will give you a hint though. It's white. And pretty. Really really ridiculously pretty. (You can read about the day I bought it here)

Don't waste time before looking for a dress because a) it's like playing the best version of dress up EVER and b) most dresses take 6 to 8 months to be ready and then you still have several fittings to schedule before the big day.

Also, set a budget and stick to it. It's one day folks. ONE DAY. I gave myself a reasonable guideline to stick within and was very firm with all the sales associates at the boutiques I went to: do NOT give me a dress over my price budget, I won't bother trying it on.

Bridesmaid dresses:
I knew I wouldn't be able to go with my girls while living in London, so I took the opportunity to get it done quickly. We all went together and tried on a bunch. Luckily, one dress fit everyone nicely and it was exactly what I had envisioned. Bingo! Bango! Done!


(My dresses are NOT orange. They are a bright blue. So close your eyes and imagine all the ugly away)

Motif
Motif just sounds SO much classier than the word Theme doesn't it? Sean and I decided to incorporate a "travel" motif throughout our wedding to highlight something that is such a big part of us. These accents will be weaved throughout different parts of the ceremony and reception. For example, our escort cards will be hand-made luggage tags and people will be seated at countries we've traveled to together instead of table numbers.

Instead of having a traditional guest book, Sean and I have been collecting postcards from all over the world and are planning to have people sign the backs of those instead.

EDIT: This is why I LOVE blogging. Someone just caught a typo in my sign above. Thank goodness for you guys!!!!

Paper
This is perhaps my favorite part of the planning process. Being a huge font snob and a teensy bit anal retentive, I knew immediately I'd design all my own paper products for the wedding. We're doing pocketfold invitations with inserts and all sorts of other magic goodies, but I don't want to give those away yet. (I am planning on doing a massive post on it once they are completed this spring so hold tight!) I'm also designing the ceremony program, luggage tags, menus, and other assorted items. (Like this fab little sign that will accompany the candy buffet we are serving with dessert)


This part of the planning can be extremely stressful and time consuming if you don't enjoy graphic design or arts and crafts. If you don't have a DIY bone in your body, then go to The Paper Source and order some bitchin' invites through them. You won't be sorry! They are equally beautiful (if not more so) for a fraction of the stress (but perhaps not the cost).

In terms of time, I know most invitations go out around 6 weeks before the wedding. Because ours is a destination, we are sending them out much earlier and asking for an RSVP earlier as well.


Miscellaneous items:
Over the past several months we've also hammered out a number of other details including the officiant, cocktail napkins (Yes. I specially designed cocktail napkins. I AM that girl. They are freaking awesome though. Just wait and see!), flip flops for my bridesmaids, and the accommodations for our wedding party.


Typically with a destination wedding, it is the responsibility of the bride and groom to provide accommodations for their wedding party (they pay for their own flights). Sean and I rented this beach house right near the ceremony site. It was a large chunk of our budget, but it's serving as our rehearsal dinner location and a myriad of other things as well. To us, this was one of the big ticket items we wanted to focus on because it sets the tone for the entire weekend! We want our friends and family to relax, enjoy themselves, and look at this as an opportunity to have fun.

Still left to tackle on The List (aka the Excel spreadsheet I created that haunts me in my sleep):

• flowers - You can definitely find a florist on the internet. I found one based off reviews from The Knot. Because I'm not doing flower centerpieces, this item hasn't caused me a lot of concern. The vendor I'm working with just requested that I email a bunch of pictures of my ideas and when I get down for a visit in April we'll figure it out then!


• music - This has been the trickiest to organize from afar. We found two bands we enjoyed and both are already booked! So the search continues...


• cake - While I could technically do this online, it's just not the same. You can't taste it or feel that sugar high through Google unfortunately. Another thing I'll do in person this spring.


• hair - I've found a few hair salons I liked, but I am holding out until April when I can get a hair trial done


• details - I have 3948203947324 items that need to be completed by September, but they are all things that need to be done Stateside so for now, I wait!

I feel like there are a million other things that I'm leaving out, but wedding buzz is one of those things that is only contagious for certain people. If you want to chat all things girly, gushy, and wedding-y, I'd love to exchange ideas and share other things I'm incorporating into the wedding, but let's do it privately. (or in a big group g-chat if you're into that sort of thing. ohhh yeahhhhh.)

Email me or tweet me and we can talk about colors, honeymoons, and veil lengths until the cows come home! Otherwise I fear the sights and sounds of eye-rolling and gagging will be heard throughout the blogosphere. I wouldn't want to lose any of my valuable readers...

...I'm counting on them to pitch in and buy me the Kitchen-Aid mixer of my dreams as a wedding present. (I'm not kidding either.)

(Okay, yes I am)

Home is where your suitcase is

or in my case, home is where your ridiculously-cute-Vera-Bradley-Weekender-bag-that-Santa-gave-you is


For the past 3 weeks, "home" has been divided between my parents house in New Hampshire and Sean's family in Boston, but tomorrow evening my bag will be packed yet again for the trip back to London.

but for the past 8 years, "home" has been in a myriad of places along the eastern seaboard. From my childhood house in New Hampshire to my college apartment in Tallahassee, I've lived in a lot of different places with a lot of different people.





(Alright, you got me on the last one. I've never actually lived there. BUT it is the super wicked awesome beach house Sean and I rented as accommodations for our wedding party and since we are paying for it ourselves, I get to count it. esp when I go back to the one bedroom flat in London where I have to start the oven by hand with a lighter and cannot flush the toilet twice in a row. mmmkay?)

but now, I am ready to settle down. I am ready for one home with one person. (and that's Sean. Unless Josh Halloway reads my last post and decides he'd like to throw his hat in the ring, of course)

and I want that home to be back in the United States. *gulp*

It's no secret to those closest to me London just isn't my bag, baby. Over the past 3 months, I realized while I like traveling abroad, I do not want to live abroad. I love that feeling of stepping off a plane in a new city and exploring all it has to offer. I am ecstatic with every new stamp in my passport and charge on my credit card in a foreign currency. (Okay, maybe not that last part) However, at the end of most vacations, people claim "I can't wait to be home and sleep in my own bed" and I am missing that.

Coming "home" for Christmas was strange. As Sean and I wove our way through the streets of Boston, everything was familiar. Our favorite restaurants, the movie theatre, my running route along the Charles...and yet, none of it was really ours. We were tourists in our own city. It was such a surreal time, feeling like this place was our home but knowing we were merely short term visitors.

It was with this thought in mind that Sean and I made the decision to move back to Boston once my program is finished. As we visited with our friends and celebrated their new apartments, new jobs, and other exciting developments, we couldn't help but be green with envy. While it's been an interesting adventure and we are learning a lot about ourselves through this experience living abroad, we are ready for that next step...ready to unpack our suitcases once and for all. We want "home" to mean more than the location most currently scrawled across our luggage tags.

Does this make us failures? Does it make us crazy for selling all our furniture and cars to move there in the first place? Does it make us any less bad ass?

Certainly not. You know what they say...The sun never sets on a bad ass.


ha.

In all seriousness though, I decided to take this journey because I wanted to be a stronger person and try a new experience. I wanted to satisfy a desire I've always had to travel...and all of that is still happening. Nothing makes you stronger than counting out coins to see if you can afford dinner, having all of your loved ones half a world away, and being 2 sizes bigger in European clothing than American. Just kidding. (Okay, not really. I don't like it. Not one bit. Give me some typical American vanity sizing please!)

So tomorrow I am going to pack my suitcases once again and head back to London. But this time I am going with a fresh perspective. Sean and I are going to stop stressing out about the failures of this move and focus on the positive. We are going to enjoy the city for all its worth and take advantage of living in a European hub. We are going to appreciate the time we have left here and soak up as much learning, and changing, and growing as possible. And as I unpack my bags, stow away my passport and start saying, "bloody hell!" again, I will slowly smile to myself...

because I know soon enough I'll be grabbing a "beeah at the bah" with my homie Ben Affleck. I'll be like Blake Lively from the Town. but without the horribly fake accent. or skanky clothes. or coke problem.

I cannot wait.

Productivity at its finest

We are t-minus 2 weeks until London!!! Since I am gainfully UNemployed at the moment, I took advantage of the labor day weekend and went up to NH. I was very productive while I was up there. Remember how I love to-do lists? I crossed so many items off my list this past weekend, it was like...um...well...okay so I can't come up with a sly or clever analogy of what it was like, let's just say I accomplished a lot.

I reenacted The River Wild (or is it The River Runs Through It? one of those whitewater river movies)

I baked a double batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies. with real butter. full fat. full deliciousness.

I proceeded to eat about 15 of them (I told you, I was very productive)

I made baked brie with black raspberry jam for our cookout

I washed down said baked brie with lots of beer. while simultaneously doing the Tomahawk Chop cheering on Florida State. Multitasking at its finest ladies and gents.

I taught my future niece how to walk. (just kidding. Teaching her how to shop and avoid white after Labor Day is far more important)

I soaked in the last of summer's goodness.

I took about 10 years off my maturity level. It's good for the skin.

I printed, stuffed, and mailed my Save the Dates! 125 people invited, roughly 70 envelopes individually hand fed through my printer. labor of love for sure. (see what I did there? that little play on words? it's a labor of love, since it's for my wedding, and I love Sean. *cough cough* I'm a quick one.)

(source) No. We didn't get married this weekend. I wish. This fabulous photo is courtesy of Mr. Michael Moss. We booked our photographer and I fell in love with his photography instantly. We are currently trying to finagle a way to get him to London for our engagement photo shoot. gah. It'd be to die for. Our decision to hire him went something like this:

Email #1 to Sean: OMG omg omg, I freaking love this photographer so much. He's awesome and amazing and you will love all his photos, take a look and let me know. I think we should hire him, like right now. Okay love you bye.

Email #2: Crap. I got so excited I never actually told you his name. Here you go...http://www.michaelmoss.com/

and my last bout of productivity? I created a rainbow
okay, no I didn't. But I did take a picture of it with my Blackberry. from the highway. It certainly won't win any photography awards, but I have to just tell you, it was amazing sight. The rainbow literally came out of the mountain and it was beautiful. It was one of those moments that just makes you stop and take in the beauty of God and nature and everything around you. It was exactly what I needed in this time of complete chaos and stress. Funny how that happens isn't it?

Gosh, just writing this post made me tired. Writing about productivity is the most productive I've been today. ha...wrap your brain around that irony.

I said yes to my dress!

I am trying to keep this blog from turning into the wedding mania that the rest of my life has become. You should see the bookmark bar on my computer....goodbye CNN and MSNBC.com, hello Theknot.com and Style Me Pretty. With that being said however, I HAVE to gush about my wedding dress!!!!

I. freaking. love. it. It is, without a doubt, the most amazing article of clothing I've ever owned. I'm pretty sure that after my wedding I will continue to wear it every day. Whenever I'm having a bad day, I will put it on and dance around my apartment. Maybe I'll wear it to spice up the more mundane daily errands like the grocery store, the bank, the gas station...the possibilities are endless really.

For obvious reasons, I'm not going to post any pictures of the dress or me in it because Sean is one of my biggest blog readers and supporters...but I promise its dabomb.com (yes, I really did just say that). In the meantime, you can look at this picture of me in a dress I didn't get it, with 92390234234 electrician's hooks being used to keep it on. Does anyone else find it ironic that you pay thousands of dollars for this delicate white dress that is held up with Home Depot clips that cost $1.99 each?


While I am so excited I have found my dress, I have to admit that I am sad the trying on process is over. It was the ultimate shopping experience...what? you want me to sift through racks of beautiful, sparkly, lacy gowns and try them all on for you? ummmm okay! oh and you want me to twirl in front of a big mirror, stand on a pedastal and accessorize the dress with shoes, jewelry, and a veil? suuuuure, twist my arm.

Going into this weekend of dress shopping, I wasn't stressed out at all. I'm a decisive person with years of shopping experience under my belt :) so I knew that when I found the dress that was right for me, I'd know it. I just had to trust myself. However, by the end of the day on Friday, I was stuck between two dresses...and they were complete opposites. I kept going back and forth. I tried each of them on several times. We took pictures, we emailed said pictures to my dad for his opinion...but no decision could be made. As my mom and I headed to the 3rd place on Saturday, I still had no idea what dress I would choose. At that point I realized I probably didn't like either one of them THAT much if I couldn't decide.

The place we went to on Saturday was truly a diamond in the rough. It was about an hour outside of Boston in the middle of a dirty, industrial town. As we winded our way through the ghetto (and I mean ghet-tooooooo) my mom and I looked at each other uneasily wondering what we would find on the other end...but surprisingly it was great! It was like the clouds parted and this bridal shop was a ray of glittery, wedding-y sunshine. I ended up pulling about 10 dresses to try on. "The" dress was the 3rd one I tried on. Immediately I knew I liked it. I put 2 more dresses on, but by then, all I wanted to do was put "the" dress back on...and I knew at that point it was going to be my dress.

I put it on again and went out to see my mom, and that is when the waterworks ensued. My mom cried, I cried, the sales lady cried. We were blubbering messes. It's funny, Friday night as I lay in bed, I tried to imagine myself getting married in the two dresses and I just couldn't wrap my head around it. I figured it was because I had never been married before and obviously didn't know what to expect. However, as soon as I put my dress on Saturday, I pictured everything. I saw myself walking down the aisle with my dad, dancing with Sean under the moonlight, pictures with my bridesmaids (okay tears are happening again) and I just knew it was the right dress for me.

Now is the hard part. I have to wait 6-8 months for it to be made and so I won't see it again until April when I come back from London for my spring break...and I still have an entire YEAR before I get to wear it for the real deal. It's a good thing though, otherwise I would've most definitely put it on Saturday night the second Sean left for work. and again yesterday....and probably this morning too.

Dress, I miss you already. I can't wait for us to be reunited. Until then, I will stare lovingly at the pictures of you. Especially when I am hungry and tempted to eat a tasty treat. My mom and I went out for celebratory drinks and lunch Saturday afternoon after finding the dress.

What better way to celebrate a figure-flattering dress than with cheeseburgers, fries, and margaritas? pssshhhhh. Dress, you will be my muse for the next year. Whenever I'm feeling lazy, I will just glance at the photos of you and remember that unless I want to trade you in for a moo-moo from Walmart (oh god. the horrors!) I better get my butt to the gym. literally.

Laura's Wedding!

There is an old proverb (or a quote from Woody Allen? google says both) that says "If you want to see God laugh, make plans". Laura and John had planned the perfect outdoor summer ceremony in a garden. For the rehearsal, it was sunny, beautiful weather with the sun setting. For the actual wedding day? torrential downpours, as in leave the car at home and just swim to the reception. We started off the afternoon telling Laura, "it's just getting the rain out of its system before your ceremony" followed by "ohhh its just sprinkling, its barely raining" (when actually, I believe at one point I saw Noah pull up and start rebuilding the ark outside)...but by ceremony time it was clear it'd be happening inside.

and you know what, God? I heard you laughing and I thank you for it...because it turned out to be absolutely beautiful!!! I couldn't be happier for Laura and John!