Beauty is only cookie sheet deep

They say love is blind.

It's also said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Well, these totally burnt slightly crisped, falling apart cookies may look ugly to you...

but remember: beauty is only skip deep and it is on the inside that matters...and inside of these are chunks of white chocolate chips and cranberries.

Hello, stress eating. It's so nice to see you again! Thank you for being here while I do copious amounts of school work. I have a feeling we are going to be very close friends this next month.

(I'd give you guys the recipe, but unless overly buttered, flat and broken cookies are your taste de jour, I'm going to save you the strife. Betty Crocker I am not)

52 Flavors Challenge Week 8: My Secret Stash of Saffron

Seriously, folks... What was I getting myself into with this week's challenge? I knew saffron's street rep for being notoriously expensive, but I didn't really know what this would entail until I got the store. It all started out innocently enough in the spice aisle.

I was able to find it at the first grocery store I went to, but then I saw the price tag: £3.86 for 40 grams. That's odd, I thought to myself, they don't typically sell spices by the gram do they? As I stood among the jars of neatly labeled herbs, mentally weighing my options, calculating how many grams I wanted versus how many I needed, things started to feel a bit suspicious.

An older man in a rain jacket crept up to the display next to me. I eyed him apprehensively... was he looking to score some saffron as well? My pulse was racing and my hands were clammy as I gripped the glass jar in my hands. One would have to be enough for now. It was only my first time after all.

After quickly using self-checkout (couldn't let a cashier handle the goods), I rushed home to study my purchase.

Okay, if I wasn't convinced saffron is secretly an illicit narcotic before, I certainly was once I opened the cap.

It's hidden inside an orange pharmaceutical tube INSIDE the glass jar?

Uhhhh....Hmmm....so let me get this straight: saffron is sold by the gram, very expensive, and is discreetly packaged in a plastic vile disguised by a jar? And it's just a spice? You're sure about this?

I had planned to make several different recipes, but the first one completely wiped out my saffron stash. At least it was worth it. I made Ina Garten's Saffron risotto with butternut squash

(photo from Food Network. I couldn't take any pictures of my recipe. You know...

incriminating evidence, probable cause, and all that business )

Although, I will admit this risotto recipe is one of the best I've ever had. The saffron added an element of depth and flavor to it that my usual risotto base lacks. (But if you tell anyone I said that, I'll deny it. And then have to kill you.)

Next week's flavor: UNKNOWN! Sean and I are headed off to Barcelona at the end of the week and I know I'm going to be exposed to a food culture shock. I want to leave myself open and see what I find. If you've been to Barcelona or Spain and have any native cuisine suggestions, send them my way! (You can be guaranteed that sangria and Cava will definitely be on the list!)

52 Flavors Tally:
Foods I like: 6 (Fennel, Indian, British desserts, Chickpeas, Kale, Saffron)
Foods I dislike: 3 (Figs, Quinoa, Hummus)

52 Flavors Challenge Week 7: Kale!

Kale.

What can I really say about it?

It is delicious to eat, especially slathered in olive oil and seasoning and roasted at 425 for 18-20 minutes (except when you forget it's there and almost burn the house down). Delicious to eat, but so very boring to write about.

So there you have it.

If a picture is worth 1,000 words, then this 52 Flavors Challenge post is worth about 58.

Kale. Mmmm, good. (make that 61)

*I hate to dine and dash but I am late for a Jamie Oliver Knife skills class! Be back tomorrow with all the juicy tidbits (and hopefully all ten fingers). We'll discuss next week's flavor then! *

Attack of the Bridezilla

This is what happens you start googling bridal bouquets while you should be making your lunch.

Goodbye, fresh kale bursting with potential to be delicious chips.

Hello, burnt to a crisp kale bursting into flames in my oven.

Oops.

On the plus side, I did manage to find some scha-weeeeet floral arrangements...I'm sorry you had to be the sacrificial lamb, Kale.

Now if it were up to me, my entire wedding would be a vision of Pretty Pretty Princess. However, since I live in the real world and not Barbie's dream house, I am getting my pink fix through the flowers. Here's what I'm loving so far: (all images courtesy of The Knot)

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

What do you think? Do you have any preference? Or is this one of those things only my mom and the florist I'm paying way too much money for actually care about?

52 Flavors Challenge Week 6: Chicka-Chicka-Slim-Shaaaady

(I've been waiting 3 weeks for this chickpea challenge just so I could use that title)

The chickpea challenge has been an interesting one. I tried 3 different recipes and had different opinions on each of them. First up: hummus.

(psssst! Can you spot the fake, plastic lemon?)

Did not like it. Not even a little bit.

This week was the first time when my true pickiness came into play. The smell and texture completely freaked me out. It was cold and lumpy and that last thing I wanted to do was put it in my mouth (that's what she said).

Perhaps if we had simply bought hummus instead of making it ourselves, I would feel differently. Lucky for you, Sean decided this was the perfect opportunity to capture a video of me trying it for the first time.

There are a couple of things you need to know before watching the video though:

1. It is the weekend. Make-up is not mandatory on weekends. Don't be scared by what you're about to see. I'm just keepin' it real, yo.

2. I swear WAY too much. I swore without even realizing it. Swearing is not classy or ladylike kids. Don't do it.

3. In times of turmoil, chocolate is never the answer. Turn to your faith or a friend/family member for help. (Just kidding. Chocolate is always the answer. duh.)

Untitled from Marie Evans on Vimeo.

Moving on, recipe #2 was Channa Masala and it was delicious.

Due to my newfound obsession with Indian food, I knew this wouldn't be a problem for me. I used Jenna from Eat, Live, Run's recipe as a starter but made a few changes. I omitted the jalapenos and added spinach. I also used curry powder instead of separate spices.

Earlier this week, there was a slight, errr complication, as a result of it though. Being new to the Indian food scene, I didn't realize the exact effect eating 2 giant bowls of fiber-filled beans and spices before a run would have on me. Oops.

The final recipe came from Angela over at Oh She Glows and it was a sweet potato "salad" of sorts.

The recipe calls for cinnamon, onions, sea salt and coconut oil to be mixed with sweet potato and chick peas. Recipe #3 was just okay. I think next time I'd use this recipe as a base but mix it up a bit. It had a nice flavor to it with the cinnamon and coconut oil, but it was a little dry. I usually roast my sweet potato with garlic, cinnamon and olive oil and I like that more.

It was my first time using Coconut Oil which was exciting, although I had to pry the jar out of Sean's hands on more than one occasion.

(He used to live in Hawaii and misses it terribly. I found him cradling the jar and sniffing it like a crack addict, mumbling something about floral-printed board shorts)

This week with chickpeas has been a good one. It's certainly better for my waistline and sugar levels than last week's dive into the deep end of dessert land. But I can't end the week without taking a minute to talk about this:

This is water that the chickpeas come in. Am I the only one who finds it to be the most disgusting and repulsive thing in the world? A couple of the hummus recipes I found called for adding the drained water from the can into the mixture and it made me want to vomit on the spot.

Ew. Ew. Ew. EW! Please tell me I'm not alone in this. Someone else out there finds that water to be straight up nasty right?

God I hope so.

Next week's flavor: Kale! I won't lie to you, I'm not terribly excited for this one. To me, cooking with kale is like shopping for shampoo. It's not something you really look forward to buying and using, but you know you need to and that it'll be good for you in the end. So to save me from greasy hair and thunder thighs, please send me any and all kale recipes you have!!!

52 Flavors Tally:
Foods I like: 4 (Fennel, Indian, British desserts, Chickpeas)
Foods I dislike: 3 (Figs, Quinoa, Hummus)

To My Caramel Companion

Dear Toffee,

You know how the old saying goes, "It's not you, it's me". Well, this time it is you. This relationship has become toxic and codependent.

You are suffocating me. No matter where I go or what I'm doing, I can still hear you calling out for me.

"Marieeeeee....come fiiiiiind meeeee"

"You know you want me"

"Stop playing hard to get"

I can't do this anymore Toffee. I'm sorry it had to come to this, but I just don't trust you. I think you're in cahoots with my muffin top to gang up on me. I heard you two whispering when I tried buttoning my jeans yesterday.

So I'm making a clean break for it. I'm kicking you to the curb.

Maybe someday we can be friends again. Until then we'll always have the memories.

Goodbye sweet caramelized sugar, goodbye.

Love always,

Marie

P.S. Don't go telling Sean about this. You've already broken enough hearts around here. When he comes home tonight asking for you, I will tell him you ran away to join a traveling bakery. These things just have to be done.

Lesson learned the hard way

Number of bowls of leftover channa masala (WITH chickpeas!) I ate for lunch: 2

Number of "digestives" (chocolate covered tea cookies) I ate after lunch: 2

Number of miles I just attempted to run: 3.5

Number of outrageously disgusting burps I had along the way: 98452095734205

Number of times I thought I would spontaneously vomit: 98452095734205 + 1

The moral of the story: Don't eat Indian food before going for a run.

No matter how tasty it is.

Ever.

52 Flavors Challenge Week 5: banoffee pie bonanza

* Warning *

This post may cause severe sugar cravings and an animalistic need to inhale as much caramel as humanely possible. You've been forewarned.

I hope you've done your weekly cardio, put on your finest post-Thanksgiving-dinner stretchy pants, and saved room for dessert because ooooooooo lordy, have I got some tasty treats for you today.

To say Week 5 of this challenge was a smashing success would be an understatement. Cookie crusts, homespun caramel, freshly whipped cream...these are the things dreams are made of. Well, my friends, just call me the dreamweaver because I rocked the socks off this flavor challenge. (Was there really any doubt?)

I wanted to test my culinary skills by making 2 infamous British desserts from scratch: banoffee pie and sticky toffee pudding. Both presented their set of obstacles for me having never made whipped cream, caramel, or toffee from scratch before. I also don't have an electric mixer (I like to pretend it's 1906 up in here) so this week proved to be a fantastic upper body workout as well.

First on the docket for the week:


After researching a couple different versions of this recipe, I went with a variation off this one from BBC. This recipe called for the caramel to be made from scratch using a combination of condensed milk, sugar, and butter. A lot of butter. A lot a lot a lotttttt of delicious, artery-clogging butter...


but for the sake of the blog, I forged ahead. I was supposed to melt the butter and sugar together to a boiling point and then simmer with the condensed milk. However, within minutes of adding the milk things started looking murky. The color stayed a bright yellow instead of the rich caramel brown and was getting kind of chunky. (you know, like my ass will be by the time I polish off both of these desserts). Instead of simmering the mixture, I was scalding it.


Oops. Into the trash it went. But not before Sean managed to get his hands on some and test it out.


He insisted no form of caramel is ever bad caramel, even if it is burnt, chunky, and disgusting looking. Now that's true love.

For my 2nd attempt at the caramel sauce, I decided to go with a method I've heard from Jamie Oliver. ("heard from Jamie Oliver" ha. Yes, he calls me all the time to chat and share cooking tips, didn't you know?) The steps for this process were so easy it baffled me. You simply submerge an unopened can of condensed milk in a boiling pot of water for 2 to 3 hours and then let it cool. When you open the top, the milk will have caramelized on its own.


I was skeptical. As a self-diagnosed OCD, neurotic, type-A cook, it irritated me to not know what was happening inside that can. I kept checking on it every 10 minutes waiting to see if something would happen. Nothing did. Except water boiling. So I spent 3 hours watching water boil. Seriously? Help me. Please.

The end results were SO worth it though. Lookie lookie what I found:


Caramel! Jamie Oliver, you are one smart man.


Once I got the caramel out of the can, the real fun could begin. I layered the graham cracker crust with 4 small bananas


and then covered them in caramel. I had to set it in the fridge to chill for 3-4 hours. When it was ready to serve, I had to cover the entire thing in whipped cream. This was the most nerve-wracking part of the entire process. As I stared at the bowl of double cream, all liquidy and wet, I couldn't imagine how it'd ever turn into the fluffy, pillow-y substance I so desired.

But I began stirring.

and stirring.

and swearing.

and then stirring AND swearing.

Until, voila!


WHIPPED CREAM! (Baking tip: I have attempted whipping things in the past, but they never got hard enough for me (ha. ha. ha.) I've tried it with electric mixers, Kitchen-Aid mixers, nada. But this time was my first success. While I'd love to credit these smoking hot guns I call biceps for the job well done, I think a lot of it came from the fact I froze the bowl and whisk before starting. Allowing the tools AND the cream to be ice cold when I started made all the difference for me.)

The rest was easy: just layer the whip cream and fresh chocolate shavings on top to finish off the masterpiece.

Hello, gorgeous. You got a name?

Sean and I could've stared at this pie all day. It smelled incredible and those little chocolate crumbles were just begging to be eaten. We shared the pie with some friends at a dinner party and arrived home empty handed. No left over pie for us. Sean was devastated, a tear slowly rolling down his cheek, until I announced I was only half way through the challenge. Sticky toffee pudding still awaited us.

Sean wiped the tear from his eye, sniffled a little bit, and looked up at me pleadingly, "Really? There's more desserts coming?"

Yes dear. There are more desserts coming...and away we went with Challenge #2.


When I announced this week's flavor last Sunday, Sarah of Fritos and Foiegras commented almost immediately with the following:


Extra sugar and all that enthusiasm? It must be good. I am down! (Here's the recipe: Sticky Toffee Pudding)

This recipe, of course, calls for freshly made toffee (duh) so I was a bit hesitant to jump right into the candy making game again after the previous day's failure. It was interesting though to learn the differences in caramel vs toffee. The caramel sauce had called for butter, white sugar, and condensed milk while this toffee recipe included butter, light brown sugar, heavy cream and vanilla.

I was pumped. I knew it'd taste delicious. I made sure to be extra careful with the burner settings this time around and used a heavy duty saucepan to ensure the toffee wouldn't burn. 20 minutes later, I had thick, beautiful toffee.

(P.S. I totally understand where the term "food porn" comes from now. Read this recipe the wrong way and it sounds like I'm advertising for a soft core Cinemax movie rather than a classic British dessert)

The "pudding" portion (which isn't even really a pudding by American standards. It's a very moist cake) included freshly ground ginger and chopped dates.


Once we mixed all the ingredients together, the pudding need to bake in a water bath for 45 minutes. I had never done this technique before so I was interested to see the results. I filled a small baking dish with the mix and set it in a larger one filled with hot water. It went into the oven this way.

(Side note: does anyone know why we do this procedure? Is it to keep the cake extra moist by creating a lot of steam? Ensure even heat dispersion?)

What seemed like an eternity later, the cake was finished and ready to be dressed. I poured the warm toffee sauce over the top and served it with ice cream on the side.


OH. MY. GOD.

Step aside Mr. Banoffee Pie. Go find a home somewhere else, because this girl only has room in her heart for one.


and that one is sticky toffee pudding. I can assure you, this dessert will not be shared with friends. It might not even be shared with Sean. Since making this recipe, I have found it difficult to complete mundane daily tasks.

I've had to stop and ask myself "Is this an acceptable breakfast item?" (Yes) "How many times a day can one have sticky toffee pudding before it's too many?" (No such thing) "Will Sean notice if he never gets to taste it because I've eaten it all?" (Probably. But that's what unconditional love is all about right? He can't get mad at me?)

More people need to eat desserts like these. If we filled the world with banoffee pies and sticky toffee puddings, I'm pretty sure wars would no longer exist. People would simply be too full and fat from their sugar comas to bother getting all riled up over things like religion, politics, and human rights. Who needs 'em when you've got 4 sticks of butter and a tub full of caramel sauce?

Bam! There you go. I just answered the eternal questions of "What is the meaning of life" AND "How do we achieve world peace?". Ms. South Carolina ain't got nothin' on me

You go girl.

Next week's flavor: Chickpeas! After last week's dessert challenge, I need a week to balance my glycemic levels before I start putting permanent holes in my ceiling from bouncing out of my mind so much. I already have a few ideas for what I want to do with the chickpeas: roasting them, create hummus, and making Eat, Live, Run's Channa Masala (yay Indian food!) If you have any other chickpea recipes, or one that goes along with the 3 I'm trying, please let me know!

52 Flavors Tally:
Foods I like: 3 (Fennel, Indian, British desserts)
Foods I dislike: 1 (Figs, Quinoa)

Banoffee Pie Preview

Oh.

Hell.

Yes.

Start doing lunges and squats now. And then run 10 miles. Uphill. You're going to want to be ready for this bad boy on Sunday's 52 Flavors Challenge

Don't say I didn't warn you.