The Quarterlife Quandary: Tales of the Tube

I'd like to take some time this evening and talk to you guys about the Tube.

Honestly, I feel like the Tube should have its own section of the blog and I'd name it Tales of the Tube. But realistically, it's not gonna happen. If you look to your right, I already have four sections of pages that have yet to be filled in. I went so far as to write in "be back soon, check back later" comments in them. There were really tongue in cheek and clever and I loved them. Then I realized I accidentally wrote it in the EDIT HTML space, not the EDIT PAGE space, which means unless you are fluent in website code and can translate aref=3984sfjk>43$#? into actual words, they are no longer there. (Rachel? my friend? heeeellllpppppppp meeeee)

To me, the Tube is a constant source of wonder and amazement. Where else can you find daily hilarity while also being provided necessary transportation AND exercise. Yes, exercise. You see the Tube is way underground, so every stop requires either an escalator or elevator to get to street level. You would think this would be incredibly inconvenient and annoying, but its quite the opposite. There's a method to this madness...it's really more of a classification system. If you are slow and leisurely, you stand on the right side of the escalators and simply enjoy your ride up. You read your daily Metro, play games on your BlackBerry, pick your nose, what have you. If you are in a rush (or looking for a FANTASTIC booty workout), you take the left side of the escalator and Stairmaster your way to the top. You may be a bit sweaty and out of breath when you get there but you can be assured you've worked off that damn Cadbury chocolate that seems to be lurking in every corner.

This was my attempt at taking a picture of the escalators. People were giving me weird looks though and I felt a bit like a terrorist....or a tourist. I'm not sure which is more offensive, but I didn't want to be either one, so let's use our imagination mmmkay?

One of the best attributes of this subway system, however, is its signage. There are signs everywhere you look.

This is at our Tube stop near our flat. It changes everyday. I love it...very inspirational. I think if this were Boston, it'd say something like, "Yankees Suck, You're a Masshole, or Get Me a Medium Regulahhh, Kid"

This one cracks me up. What happens if you have a German Shepard? Your arms are going to get very tired.

(Source)
On the one hand, I appreciate that we get up to the minute updates on when the next train is arriving...but I can't help but wonder why they didn't just write "EXIT" instead?

These Londonders are precise. I wonder whose job it was to count all the stairs? Do you think he double checked to make sure he was right? I'll be pissed if I find out it's really 194. I DEFINITELY would've eaten that extra piece of chocolate if so.

But lastly, ohhhhhhhhh last but certainly not least, was the sign I came across today. Don't get me wrong. I am incredibly grateful of how accurate and helpful the Tube people are with station updates. Whenever there is the slightest delay, they are sure to announce it over the intercom and post signs all over the place. However, I was a little surprised to see this sign when I left school today

uhhhhh, what? "NO SERVICE because of person under train at Charing Cross" Well. Okay then. Sooo......ummmmm. I'm uncomfortable. Anyone else?

I felt slightly insensitive taking a picture of this sign. Then I remembered how completely ridiculous it is that they felt the need to notify us of it and went on ahead. I already made myself look like a sketchy terrorist anyway during the escalator incident. But seriously, why would you post that? Wouldn't "NO SERVICE due to technical problems" be sufficient. Apparently, there IS such a thing as too much information.

In other news, I'd like to proclaim that I am not, in fact, an actual alcoholic. Last night, as Sean and I were laying in bed, it dawned on me that my last two blog posts both ended with me drinking alcohol. woops. I remember faintly a time in college when my mom cornered me after a particularly dramatic Oprah episode about ecstasy. She was very concerned and made me promise I'd never do it or I'd get holes in my brain and die. Well, Mom, I can promise I have never done ecstasy and I am not an alcoholic. I just happen to have a wealth of pictures stored in iPhoto of me drinking. It's a coincidence really.
To prove my point, I asked Sean to take a picture of me tonight blogging: