A Marathon Induced Hangover

I have a hangover.

Not the usual kind, either. No, no. This hangover wasn't brought on by too many tequila shots on a Friday night. This is a marathon induced hangover.

Before you get too excited and start searching voraciously through my archives to find the post you think you missed, I haven't actually run a marathon. I just registered for one. My first one to be exact. I will be running the Barcelona Marathon on March 6th. (I picked this one because I am hoping they serve sangria and cervezas at the aid stations instead of water. A girl can dream right?)

Now to understand my hangover, we need to back it up a bit...11:46pm on Monday night to be exact. I had just registered for the marathon and the level of maniacal, overzealous excitement I felt was similar to that of a group of 3 year olds who have just stumbled upon a giant pool filled with caffeine, high fructose corn syrup, and the Wiggles. (Why the Wiggles would be in a pool of caffeine and HFCS is beyond me, but they must get their overwhelmingly annoying enthusiasm from somewhere). Nevertheless, to say I was excited is an understatement. I ran around the flat, my mouth going a mile a minute talking about what'd we do in Spain, where we'd say, all the food I'd get to eat before the race (wahhoooo!!!!). I could hardly contain myself.



Fast forward to the next morning. I woke up early. very very early. It was dark outside and the foxes were still terrorizing the neighborhood. I don't know what exactly woke me up, but the first thought that entered my mind?

Holy sh*t, what did I do!? This was quickly followed by a similar stream of consciousness

Oh man oh man oh man. crap. Why did I sign up for a freaking marathon?! Oh my god. This means I actually have to do it now. I am going to puke. now. now AND then. I am going to be puking on the sidelines. and crying. I will be puking and crying on the sidelines asking people to help me, but they'll all speak Catalunya. What the heck is Catalunya anyway? How do you say "Please carry me to the nearest bar?" in Catalonian? 26 miles. Oh man oh man oh man.

It was only 6 am and already I had a headache, a stomach ache, and that familiar mixture of guilt, shame, and fear that accompanies an evening of wreck less decision making. I had given myself a hangover without ever having a sip of alcohol. Only me. Onnnnllyyyy me. *sigh*

The good news is that I have 19 weeks to recover and prepare myself. 19 weeks...4 months, 16 days, 11 hours, and 49 minutes to be exact, but whose counting? Since my hangover set in, I've been self medicating with healthy doses of celebrity gossip and Teen Mom episodes online to make me feel better. Here's a tip for you: If you are ever feeling down on yourself or stressing out about your life circumstances...turn on MTV, watch Amber and Gary for 2.5 seconds, take a look in the mirror and SMILE, because compared to them it'll never be that bad.

(Nothing says true love like your 4th engagement by 19. to the same person each time. with a $20 ring from Walmart)

I'm sorry for the interruption, but we have to take a minute to look at a few more pictures of these two. I promise you will feel profoundly better about yourself when we are finished.




See? I feel better already!

Okay, where were we? Oh yeah, I am going to run my first marathon and I might die in the process. I am trying to put a more positive spin on this whole idea of running 26.2 miles just for the fun of it, so I am compiling a list of things for me to remember throughout my training.

1. I will be fulfilling a lifelong dream of mine. The feelings of pride and accomplishment I'll have as I cross the finish line will be unlike anything I've ever experienced.

2. It will challenge me and by pushing myself out of my comfort zone, I am going to learn more about who I am as a person and be better for it.

3. I will gain a new appreciation for....oh god. stop just stop. I can't do this. Let's be real. What am I really looking forward to in regards to this marathon and the training process?

1. I get to eat. a lot. I always hear stories of people who gain weight training for marathons. That's going to be me. Give me an excuse to eat more food than I am supposed to and I am down. What's that? You need me to eat this entire pizza for the sake of my training? Okkkayyy, if I have to.

2. I get to create the most fantastic Google calendar EVER. I really, really love planning things out, particularly on Google calendar with its colored labels and ability to synchronize with my phone so that I get annoyingly helpful daily reminders of my runs sent straight to my cell phone. I also have a Lilly Pultizer paper agenda stock full of stickers to use and pages to be written in. Right now it's embarrassingly sparse. It says lame things like email Mom. (no offense, Mom). This marathon gives me a built-in scheduled life months in advance. I get to play with my Google Calendar AND Lilly Agenda every day. I also get to open my planner in front of people, point and say "oh yeah, sorry I can't make it to your event. I'm training for a Marathon" then walk away all snooty and full of myself. This brings me to point #3.

3. .....

ermmm...ummm.... okay so far I have 2 good things about running a marathon, but it's only been like 36 hours since I signed up (again, whose counting). I'll think of more, I'm sure of it. I'll have plenty of time to do a lot of thinking on these upcoming long runs. Particularly the ones that take place while I'm home in the States for Christmas. I will be up at my parents house in the mountains of New Hampshire for the majority of my time there. According to my training plan, my long runs will be something like 12, 18, and 15 those weeks.

Eighteen miles. In the mountains. In December. Where my only running partners will be the sounds of my frostbitten fingers falling off and the Abominable Snowman at my heels.

Are we having fun yet?