Tuesday, December 7

Wishing you a Mariah Christmas

After last night's intense post, I think we need to liven it up a little bit around here. Let's talk Christmas, kids.

I. Freaking. Love. Christmas.

but honestly, who doesn't? If you claim you "hate" Christmas you are either a) Jewish, in which case rock on with your bad self and light that Menorah with the passion of a thousand Santas or b) you had a horrible childhood, plain and simple. No one hates Christmas unless they had some horrific childhood, and it must've been really bad to make you hate the amazingness of the holidays; the warmth, the family, the snow. It must've been like REALLY bad, like your dad was a special guest star on Dateline's To Catch a Predator bad.

There are many, many things I love about Christmas...the sugar cookies, the spiked egg nog, the fact that I still get a stocking at the ripe age of 26, but one of the best things? I can unabashedly, without any regret or hint of shame, acknowledge and profess my undying love for the one and only, Miss Mariah Carey. (Mariah. She's on fiyahhhhh. (fire) )


If you walk away with only one thing from today's post, let it be this: You cannot have Christmas without Mariah Carey and that is a FACT.

Every year come November, I start counting down the days until Thanksgiving, and not just for the family and turkey. Oh no no, it's for my girl, MC. No one does Christmas music like Mariah does Christmas music. Sure you have the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, the Nutracker, the Carpenters all belting out their tunes. You can go back to the Rat Pack to hear your boy Frank. Take a trip down crooner's lane with the sweet melodies of Bing Crosby, but at the end of the day you will always return to Mariah.

because, as I said, she's on fiyyyahhhhhhh


You know what she's smirking about behind those sunglasses don't you? Bitch please, I know I'm the Christmas Queen

Now obviously, any girl over the age of 8 (or gay man for that matter) already knows THE song I'm referring to. Just a few beginning notes of this jingle and you will be out of your seat and bouncing around your apartment like an actress in a Pantene Pro-V commercial before you know what hit you.

Ladies and Gentleman, bow down to the magic that is "All I want for Christmas is you"

I don't know what it is about this freaking song, but within 30 seconds of putting it on, any solid object within arm's reach becomes my microphone and I am rocking a side-pony like its 1997 again. I can listen to it on repeat for hours on end without getting sick of it. (True story. Just ask Sean, last night I caught him trying to delete it off my computer in a fit of desperation. He claimed his ears were bleeding. I told him to man up)

In fact, I'm listening to it while I write this (for motivational purposes, of course) and I'm having difficulty getting through the typing because I'm just itchin' to bust a move, Mariah style. I particularly love the last chorus when she hits that REALLY high note, last time I tried to imitate it the neighbors called the cops because they thought Sean and I were torturing baby seals up here. How rude. (if you don't believe me, feel free to watch my video here, where I sing it in the bathtub. My love for Mariah knows no limits or bounds)

Word on the street (well the US streets anyway) is that girlfriend got a new album dropping this Christmas. (How'd I do? Was I convincingly ghetto? I hope so). Like any true Mariah slightly obsessed stalker fan, I watched the "Oh Santa" video on YouTube. I like it. She looks adorable. and pregnant. She's adorably pregnant.



Which is much better than she usually dresses, a look I refer to as: Slightly overweight cougar in last year's Britney Spear's onesie



"Oh Santa" is fun and catchy and I guarantee you one of my first stops once I'm back in the United States will be get the album (unless of course my mom gets it for me first *COUGH* COUGH* SPASM * UGHHH SOMEONE TELL MY MOTHER * SUBTLE HINT *)

But, to be honest, I will always and forever love her original Christmas album. For the next 18 days, I will continue to blast "All I want for Christmas is you" and reenact her dance moves in my bedroom mirror until it's time to put it away until next year...

but don't you worry. There always comes a time, usually around mid July, where I draw the blinds, lock the door, turn off my phone, and dance around my room to this holiday classic. just once.

shhhhhhhhh, don't tell anyone.

21 comments:

Gerry said...

We loved it. LOL! LOL!!!! What new MC cd? LOL

Lori said...

I'm sorry Marie, but I am not a MC fan, although I must admit to my love of this song. Have you seen the movie Love Actually where this song plays???? And wouldn't it be nice, if when you were picked up at Logan, this CD you mention will be playing in the car!!! hint hint (I'm helping as much as I can!!!!) Have a safe trip home!

purplekat99 said...

One of the BEST! things about being Jewish is being able to listen to this song all year round. To me, it's not "christmas music" but just "music".

One of my favorite songs of all time, hands down, no matter what time of year it is:-)

VL said...

OH yes. That's right. New Mariah. I might have to go buy it now.

Elizabeth said...

Did you remind my mind? Today I purchased Mariah's Number 1's and both Christmas CDs! Mariah is still a queen in my eyes.

Genesis said...

MC fan up in here :)

i listen to it on pandora and try my hardest not to sing out loud because i like getting a paycheck. shes pretty awesom. i wonder what their kid will look like.

Kendra said...

As much as I actually don't like her, the song is irresistable. You're right...

Hilary said...

Love, Love and Love MC! I, too, feel like you were reading my mind. I have been plotting to buy her new album secretly so that I do not have to receive the wrath of my sister's disdain. You have officially motivated me! ipod get ready for a new playlist!

Lauren said...

So someone turned me onto your blog a while ago, and I often find myself totally agreeing with you, or giggling while drinking wine, and this post demanding a comment. During college, my roommates and I would play this on repeat all. the. time. It usually involved standing on couches and grabbing an air microphone as well. Glad to hear it's not just us!!

Kat said...

It really isn't Christmastime until you've heard "All I Want For Christmas Is You."

Fact.

Maybe I wish I was a Rockette at this time of year as well.

Ashley Smith said...

So I'm Victoria's friend. And I pretty much read your blog religiously. "Hello" from your quasi-stalker in Kansas.

This was hilarious.

Of course I had to watch the music video. I'm at work. It was difficult not to sing out loud along with MC. And by difficult I mean I had to stop actually singing because someone walked in and looked me like I'm an idiot. Like they won't go back to their desk and Google Mariah and do the same. exact. thing.

All I have to say is. Good job. :)

And Merry Christmas. Oh exuse me, a thousand apologies. Mariah Christmas to all and to all a good night.

-Ashley

Beantown Prepster said...

GIrl you know I had MC on repeat about 2 minutes after midnight on Thanksgiving day... Mattafact I'm listening to our favorite babygirl right this instant :)

The "overweight cougar in Brit's onesie" almost made me choke on my crystal light. Stop trying to kill me.

DNorton said...

AHAHAHAH! Hi Marie-- it's Diana from Madrid. And I completely agree that this ONE song puts all other Christmas songs to shame. Had to force myself to laugh silently at this post so as to not wake the seƱora. but hoooly cow was it funny. also inspiring. have already listened to it once tonight, but MUST. HEAR. IT. AGAIN. NOW!

Rachel Wilkerson said...

AMEN to this post.

Leah @ L4L said...

I'm obsessed with Mariah. I'm pretty sure I wrote a similar post last Christmas season professing my love. I bought her new album pre-sale. And my husband got it for me. So we now have two copies. I've been trying to pawn off the second copy but I have had no takers. Seriously? Do they not realize this is MARIAH?

yearsoflife said...

Best Christmas song ever. Point Blank. It's THE best song to turn it up loud enough so your walls shake a scream at the top of your lungs so you can't hear yourself all the while thinking you're just as good, if not better, than Mariah.

Tiffany said...

I nearly choked on my drink reading this post. Absolutely hilarious. I just discovered your blog through the Hollaback post and...love. I die.

Betsy said...

loveeeee it. just linked to you to show my love, hope that's okay!

Marie said...

thanks for all the new comments kids! I'm glad you all stopped by! :)

Jenna said...

I don't know if you've seen this yet, but after reading this post it made me think of you: http://deadspin.com/5713470/merry-christmas-from-some-northern-irish-hockey-players-singing-mariah-carey

Sean said...

men are different, only women and kids can listen to songs on repeat

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